Eat Shit: Literally!

Imagine if you went to your friends house, or a dates house, for dinner and they took you into a bleach cleaned bathroom and served you dinner on a porcelain toilet.  How would you feel? Kinda grossed out right? Apparently some Chinese people don’t feel the same way because there is a popular restaurant, Modern Toilet, making waves in China.  Here is where  you can go to enjoy dinner on a “stylish acrylic toilet” and drink out of a urinal (don’t deny it, you know you always wanted to do that!).  Menu delicacies include: diarrhea with dried droppings, bloody poop, and green dysentery-and these are just deserts!

I’m sorry, but there is no way you are going to get me in a restaurant that does this.  Not only do you want me to eat out of a toilet, you want to serve me shit themed names.  No matter how you slice and dice, shit is SHIT! I don’t want my food to look like shit.  Now, I know its not supposed to be about the look of food, but the flavors; but like this person said in the article, when you see curry dripping down the side of a toilet it doesn’t exactly  make you want to lick it up, does it? Apparently the Chinese can take this because they are more “nonchalant” about bodily functions. Damn that.  I’m nonchalant about it too, I know we all shit, eat, burp or whatever but I still don’t think it makes for great conversation or artwork over dinner.  There are just some things  you don’t do with food, like breast milk in ice cream.  I mean what’s next? Menstruation Macaroni?

Modern toilet was opened in 2004 by Wang Zi-wei in China.  He has 7 of these train wrecks in Taiwan, one in HOng Kong, and opens in Shenzhen China this week.  He plans to expand this to other areas in China. Please, keep that shit (pun intended) over there.  THis is the ideal restaurant for workers to pull  gross “guess the secret sauce” pranks…  SMDH!!

Source

Thanks WK for this!!

Baconnaise: The Fattest thing EVER!!

(OK, maybe not EVER but this is bad)

Baconnaise.

Yes.. This is a bacon spread, from the folks who bought you bacon salt-which I didn’t know existed either. Either way, apparently bitches love bacon… Fat bitches that is!!! NO, just kidding. I know people (skinny people) who love bacon. LIke my friend, Friend A. Sometimes we go to Au Bon Pain and order salads. I always get the turkey medallion salad which happens to come with bacon. I kindly ask them to hold the bacon, since I don’t eat the hog. She’s like “No, give me your bacon. You can never have enough bacon.” I disagree, because sometimes if you over load on bacon, turkey bacon for me, you can get a little nauseus. So anyway, I discovered Baconnaise from my daily email from Hungrygirl.com. I love some of her tips & tricks. She was introducing Baconnaise Light ( I love how people trying to lose weight want the bad stuff in light).

Anyway, back to this Baconnaise crap. After seeing it there, I promptly used a search engine (nope, I will not say I Googled it!!) and came across the official baconsalt/baconnaise site. Apparently, after the growing popularity of bacon salt, someone suggested they attempt a bacon flavored spread, so they set out on an experimental journey to find it. Thier words from their official website:

“So we set out on another bacon-flavored adventure. Could we make a mayonnaise product that met our own high bacony standards? Could we get people as excited as they were for Bacon Salt (for which shrines have been built and songs have been written)?  It was at that point that we began a very unhealthy morning routine: eat a slice of bacon, try a version of Baconnaise, eat a slice of bacon. Compare. Improve. Repeat. Over the 6 months it took us to make Baconnaise, we estimate that we probably ate 20 pounds of bacon, consumed 5 large jars of mayonnaise and took 2 years off of our lives – looking for that exact and delicious flavor that we would be proud to call Baconnaise.”

I find this stuff to sound gross. I would NEVER EVER try it. I find the fact that they boast about it being vegetarian to be a mockery of what good bacon is too, and I don’t even eat pork. I’m just putting this out there for everyone to be disgusted with too. But I know somewhere out there someone’s mouth is salvating and they are trying to find the store nearest them to buy it.

I think I threw up a little in my mouth actually…

Choco-Minty Goodness!

ChocoMinty Coconut Cookies

I don’t know if its been made clear in the past, but I like to cook, I might even venture to say that I borderline love to cook.  I am intrigued by the way different flavors mesh and can’t wait to buy The Flavor Bible, when it goes down in price.  So, one day I’m blog strolling and I came across this blog, Dolcecakes.wordpress.com which features different baking recipes.  Now, while I think I have the cooking thing done pretty well, but don’t ask me to make a Beef Wellington anytime soon, I have not conquered baking.  So, on this blog I found her recipe for Chocominty Coconut Cookies.  I love mint chocolate so these instantly got printed and I conspired to make them. The ingredients sounded like things I could pick up from my local supermarket,so I decided to give them a go.  After all, I love trying new things, and baking is my next goal.  Well, there are a few more dishes I’d like to master, but I can multitask..

Now, I don’t know the difference between pastry flour and regular flour.  The recipe called for wheat pastry flour, however in the aisle at Stop & Shop they only had wheat flour.  On the package it said great for baking so I went with that since pastry flour wasn’t there.  All the other ingredients were easy, brown sugar and coconut among them.  I get home and set my butter out to become room temperature, which takes forever.  I was getting anxious so I put it in the microwave for 10 seconds.  Then I let it sit while I mixed all the other ingredients.  After adding the butter, I wish it was a little softer, but it was  pretty thick cookie dough.  I’ve only made cookies from scratch one or two times and they were oatmeal cookies, so they should be dry. Since then Pillsbury and Tollhouse have been my cookie go-tos, so this was pretty dry, but i did as the instructions said and rolled it into a log and refridgerated it for the designated two hours.  It instructs you to cut in in 1/4 inch slices, but I had no clue how to judge that, so I decided to wing it and came out with some different sized slices on my cookie sheet. I baked them for the instructed 10 minutes, but they didn’t seem done, so I left them in for a few more minutes.  Not the best idea.

Cookies!

After taking them out and letting them cool, I had a very delicious mint choco cookie.  However, it was tough on the teeth.  Not the best results for cookies.  But they were so good, strong flavors..  At first I had doubts because it used so little mint extract (half teaspoon).  I wondered if the mint flavor would stand out, and it really does.  I will definitely try to make these again, I would like them to have a “gooey” factor, so after I get the recipe down, I might add in some semi-sweet chocolate chips for added “gooey” ness.  They may be hard, but they taste damn good with milk! I shall master baking . . . one day…

My first bite of minty goodness

Careful What you eat: Grapes w/ Spiders

Holy Moly! I found this article about a lady finding a black widow spider in her Costco Grapes. For those who don’t know, the Black Widow is the deadliest American arachnid-even their web is poisonous! Not something I’d like to find in my grapes-sometimes I just pick grapes up in the store and eat one, everyone does it! Then we I get home, I run water over them and put them in the fridge. Imagine, ingesting poison that way and not even knowing. Imagine that thing getting lose into your house and possibly biting you!

In case you’ve noticed more spiders around this year, which I’ve heard people say, it could be because in California farmers have been using spiders as a natural pesticide to keep insects off of the crops. While I applaud these efforts to stop the use ingesting of poison, I think that they maybe should not use spiders that are dangerous to our health as well. Seriously, what kind of logic is that, let me not give you a man made poison, but a natural one instead. Although maybe their logic comes from the fact that no one has died from a Black widow bite since 1960 in America, but still. Confusion. This is definitely confirmation and reinforcement to always, ALWAYS wash your fruit. Like really wash it, just just run the water like I do and shake it. Not enough.

source

Plastic Surgery Mishap

After reading this I knew I wanted to blog about this. So, first I sent it to a few of my nearest and dearest friends for conversation ideas at work and kinda let the day slip away.

Anyway, sometimes we forget that plastic surgery is not an American addiction, it is coveted by many across the globe. Hang Mioku, 48, is a Korean woman w ho became addicted to plastic surgery after having her first surgery at age 28. After her first surgery she moved to Japan and had many more operations eventually leading to her face being left enlarged and disfigured. Her face was so disfigured that her parents didn’t even recognize her. Some saw this addiction as a sign of a psychological disorder. Her parents, after the shock that t his was actually their daughter, took her to a doctor and she began treatments that were too expensive to maintain so she eventually fell back into her old ways.

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. She eventually found some doctor who was willing to give her silicone injections, AND he gave her a syringe and silicone to take home and do some herself. The blasphemy does NOT stop there. When Hang ran out of silicone she began to inject cooking oil into her face. Yes, Hang decided that she would freshen up her face with Crisco. Her face eventually became so large that she began to get teased by children in her neighborhood, children as just cruel, calling her “standing fan” because of her large face and small body.

Eventually she was featured on TV in Korea and money was donated to help her have surgery to reduce the size of her face. When I read this, I did not laugh. I seriously had a WTF reaction, because this is crazy. I’m not going to post the pics, but I will post a link to them, because its sad. She was a cute girl, by our American standards, to begin with, and now she says “she would simply like her original face back.” This is why plastic surgery isn’t something you want to get hooked to. I’m sure she is not the first person in regret of plastic surgery-say Hi to Tara Reid. Or we’ve all heard the stories of girls who got breast implants that nearly killed them or people who got Liposuction and had fat grow back patchy in some areas. Some things are just too much.

Source and pics

Do Calories Matter?

So, the other day I read an article on the NYtimes website on my Blackberry titled “Calories Do Count.” Basically, the article talked about the rising resurgence of calorie-counting, which is something many dieters have done or do and how this has led to, at least in New York right now, the now ever popular occurence of calorie contents of food on menu items.  I know it happened to me one day.  I was in New York, near Time Square near NewsCorp and I went to a Wendy’s for a cheap quick lunch.  Now, I know damn well I shouldn’t be eating Wendy’s, especially since I’ve been gym slacking.  But I wasn’t about to spend 15 dollars on a salad I wasn’t garunteed to like.  And I hadn’t really eaten all day, so Wendy’s it was.  So I head in there, and right there next to my #6 were numbers that said depending on my size I could be expending about 1000-1600 calories on a spicy chicken sandwich with fries and a drink.  Shocked and appalled I was.  I almost thought about not getting fries.  But its not the same if you get a sandwich and a baked potato.  So I settled for a small and a bottle of water.  With Wendy’s a small is really a medium.  I once got tricked into ordering a medium and had this big ass soda I couldn’t finish. But I knew i wasn’t trying to waste my whole daily caloric intake on just one meal.  Do you know how hard it is to burn 1000 calories at the gym? HARD! is all thats needed to say on that note.

Anywho, there is a law in NY that restaurants with 15 or more outlets were forced to post the calorie content of food next to the price.  Now, do I agree.  yes and no.  I think that yes, people should know more about what they are ingesting, however, I was perfectly happy going online or looking at the pamphlet they were supposed to keep in store if you had questions about content.   I don’t like scare tactics.  And this is a scare tactic driven by rising concerns over the obesity of Americans.  Restuarants should have thought of this before they made heaping portion sizes the norm.  In fact, as a result of this some restaurants have realized their food has very high caloric intake and to not reduce sales, they have reduced portion sizes-but not cost. So that is a win-win for them.  Still sell and make more.  Do they really care about the health and concern for Americans, because the FDA surely doesn’t.  American is driven by profit. Companies are taking super advantage of the average Americans obsession with weight.  Caloric content is spewed all over every damn product these days, and they make 100 calorie products in so many lines now.

“We talk skinny and eat fat,”  Tim Ryan

NYtimes article

I was robbed!

I got robbed.

By Dunkin Donuts.

Once upon a time I lived off of caramel iced coffees from DD. But over the past few months I’ve been relying on the Green Mountain coffee provided by the convenience store at my job. But every so often I manage to still get my beloved coffee from the Dunkin. So yesterday, I was visiting my hometown, and it was about 5 pm and I said hey, I haven’t had my coffee today. So I went to the one that was closest. I pull into the drive thru of the combo Baskin Robbins/ Dunkin donuts and I say to the speaker ” can I have a medium caramel iced coffee with skim milk and sugar.” Nice nd polite. I should have known something was going to go amuck when she asked me how many sugars. No one had ever asked me that in all the years I’d been drinking these iced coffees. So, I spurted out 3 because a medium iced coffee is pretty big and I wasn’t sure. But as I approached the window to pay I was full of dread that the iced coffee would be too sweet. Thinking to myself all that sugar and caramel syrup I’m gonna have diabetes. I wonder if it’ll be finished when I get to the window, if not i’ll tell her only two. They really have never asked me how many sugars I wanted.
So I pull to the window and the lady says my total is 2.77. I look at her with my blank face, which I reserve for stupid people, and I say for an iced coffee. She, being the ever so professional DD attendant is like “yup, wanna see your receipt.” I laughed because its not like I didn’t believe her but I was taken aback by the increase in cost from my local DD, where my iced coffee only cost me 1.99. I mean, I realized the cost of damn near everything has increased, but sheesh an increase of sixty cents for a coffee.

Today I was robbed by DD. Don’t they regulate the prices to have some sort of consistency in their stores, or can managers hike up prices and justify it on a sinking economy, and if the economy is so bad why hasn’t the coffee anywhere else gone up??? Yes indeed, today I was robbed.

And the coffee wasn’t that good. Over priced DD didn’t shake it so my ingredients would mix well. Glad I didn’t go for that donut too.