How to deal with an overly eager man.

So I don’t normally do relationship blogs, but I feel the need to talk about something.  I guess because I’m experiencing it in my life a little, and this is what this blog is for.  So today we are going to talk about a guy type, Mr. Too Much Too Soon or Mr. Eager, but really there are many names for this type of guy.  This type of guy is really annoying when you don’t share the same times of feelings that he’s feeling, which is usually how all problems arise.  But back to topic.

Mr. Eager Beaver, this is the guy whom you just met. You have spoke maybe 2 times and hung out together once. You are thinking to yourself  “Well OK, he’s cool. We are getting to know each other.” But after these few interactions all he can talk about his how much he likes you and wants to make you  his girl. For me, this is slightly creepy because I usually feel that we don’t know each other that well.  And it’s a huge turn off.  I’m very guarded and I have to feel you out, I have yet to meet someone and feel this instant kismet.  Secondly, I feel that things like this don’t have to be said.  If you met me, and you really like the conversation and the vibe that is being given then you make it so we spend more time together. Then it would naturally progress to being a whirlwind romance.  But by you constantly talking about it, I’m weirded out.  The worse (and this happened) a guy who is like yeah my family will love you.  WTF!

Can anyone remember the scene in Waiting to Exhale where Robin (Lela Rochon) was arguing with Troy (Mykelti Williamson) from the balcony.  And she asks what have I done in 3 weeks to warrant me meeting your mama? That’s how I feel.  Now for some, this whirlwind romance can be a wonderful thing.  And it has led to many wonderful romances, but there has to be a degree of mutual chemistry.  Because just like with anything else, its only annoying if YOUR not interested.

So how do you deal with Mr. Eager Beaver? Normaly, I’d just put him on ignore and wait until he got the point. But I’ve come to realize that doesn’t always work.  And its better to be mature and up front about it.  I recommend sitting down and clarifying the standing of the “relationship.” Making sure you both are on the same page. And outlining any things that need to be said to make it so that you stay on the same page.  For instance, if he feels that you calling him 2x a week means you want something more.  YOu need to be able to say OK, I understand that and make an effort not to call him more than 2x a week unless you want to give off that vibe.  Do whatever you need to do, even if it means cutting off what could be a seemingly nice guy, because most of the time they don’t get it. And then you have a potential problem on your hands.

On the flip side, you have girls that enjoy this kind of attention.  So let these guys go back out there and find them. Know what you want and how to avoid settling. This is something that I’m still working on.  Always respect your own standards. Don’t sacrifice them for some attention.

Boy returns 10,000: There is hope for good

It’s always good to hear a feel good story since we are living in such chaotic times.  Right before Thanksgiving we were reminded yet again how crazy this world is with the attacks on Mumbai.  That was not a great entry into an American holiday.  So, over the weekend (my wonderful four-day weekend) I read this article about a 17-year-old boy in Federal Way, Washington who found a “pretty thick stack” of money in the bathroom at his part-time job at Top Food & Drug.  After some internal debate about what to do Moisei Baraniuc decided to turn the money in to his supervisor.  They then counted the money, all 50 and 100 dollar bills, to a grand total of $10,000!! After counting the money his supervisor called 911 and reported the missing money, police then came and did whatever it is that police do in these situations.  Later, a man calls the store and said he’d left it.  He said the money was his life savings which he usually kept at home but because he was moving he had it there with him.  After verifying store surveillance and stuff they finally handed the money back over to Fred Smith.

This story brightened my day.  I know that the kid faced some serious inner turmoil in the time he made that decision. Here he was, from an immigrant family who came here five years ago with $300 and here is a free sack of money that no one has to know about.  But then there is the down side.  This money means something to someone, they can’t get this back.   Flashing through my head would have been that scene from Saved by the Bell, where Zack and the gang were at the mall and found a bag of money.  Later they found out they were on a candid camera TV show.  Things like $10,000 never just appear.  AND reporting it to the police doesn’t always equate to it being eventually returned to the original party, cops “lose” evidence all the time.

This story kept me feeling good for a large part of the weekend though and then I had a personal good experience, well my friend did but since I was there I was part of it.  Me and said friend were at the mall doing some mall like things and when we left she dropped her purse outside in the rain.  We didn’t realize this until we were obviously not at the mall anymore.  So frantically she called Macy’s security and mall security trying to find her purse, but no such luck.  So we headed back out that way and scoped out the parking lot looking for her rain soaked purse but no luck.  She went into the Macy’s checked around again.  We checked the cars that were near our spot and decided we’d wait the people out because if they found it and turned it in they would tell us, right? Anyway, while we were sitting there Macy’s security called her and let her know someone turned it in.  So she and I were both ecstatic.. and to celebrate I bought new shoes! Don’t judge me, they were on sale..

It’s always wonderful that good people are out there.  We need to see more examples like this to keep our faith alive.  We all need faith, or at least I do.
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The Hulk is a Cash Cow!

Apparently some people need more to survive per month than my annual salary. I have never been married, but I think that some women take this alimony thing way too seriously. I am all for being able to make sure you maintain your necessities in life if your husband wanted you to be a homemaker, therefore you didn’t work and now you guys are divorcing. And celebrity wives are making a killing these days off someone elses money.

Hulk Hogan’s wife, LInda Bollea, is requesting an increase in her 40,000 a month alimony. Are you F**King kidding me? He already pays her that and still pays repair and maintenence of their home. The only things he doesn’t pay for are cable (can you blame him?), pest control, window washing, and their security system. So, even is she does pay for that stuff, she still has an additional what, 35000 per month? And, its not like she has children to support or pay for private school for. Her kids are grown and semi-self sufficent. The one did just get out of jail and the other considers herself a reality pop star of some sort. I just don’t believe this. I mean, after 24 years of marriage it sucks to get a divorce, but to try and drain the hubby’s pockets after he is being pretty generous is low. And, I mean, I don’t know how much money the Hulk is making these days off royalties and interest and stuff, but 40,000 a month is a helluva lot if you ask me and since no one did I’m still giving my opinion because its blasphemy! She spent 14,000 on plastic surgery. Why should he pay for how she looks, he’s not with her anymore!

It’s like these women having babies with athletes and celebrities, they make out like bandits! All you did was lay there with some sweaty jerk and now you get 15,000 a month. Babies are expensive, but not that damn expensive! I mean, granted some of these men want some crazy sexual favors, but dammit you should have worn a condom. But then again, they want this easy money. I’m sorry. I don’t want nobodies bad ass kid for a paycheck. It’s not worth it. Ugh. Damn groupies. OK, sorry for ranting.

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Where did Thanksgiving go?

Its November, right? Last time I checked after Halloween there was Thanksgiving and then came Christmas. So unless there was some mass destruction of Thanksgiving (which for some is only a celebration of a mass genocide of people who only welcomed the pilgrims) that I don’t know about i’d appreciate if we could get back to the holiday about giving thanks. I mean, this year I actually have some things that I would like to be thankful for. And here comes the economy and the market shoving my holiday under a rug! I should not be subjected to radio airways pumping Christmas carols just yet, as it is I only have a small tolerance for the jingles anyway, so by starting them earlier the radio stations are just shortening my tolerance time. I know we are in a “recession” that could lead to a “depression” but this isn’t a way to bolster sales when its proven that people rely heavily on credit during the holidays and credit is on the run from the masses. That can lead to an increase in already high holiday suicide rates. This is not a good thing no matter how you spin in. Please reincarnate thanksgiving, for us poor, sad, Christmas haters. Ok, maybe I don’t have Christmas itself, I love to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but I do hate the consumerist holiday that it has become. Is it because Thanksgiving is a secular holiday that it is easily cast aside?

By the way, does anyone know the name of the “basket” shown above that holds the food and grains? I know what it is, but many don’t.  If I had a cute prize I’d give it out to to the first person who guesses correctly, but I don’t.  I only have my word… LOL

Wait Patiently

You know it really ticks me off when people come into my job and they want a specific person and only that person. We tell them this person is unavailable at the current moment and give them alternatives-do you want to see someone else or wait or even come back later. Now if you choose to wait, I will tell you I can’t guarantee how long you will be waiting for. Do NOT agree to wait and then pester the first person who walks past to with your problems. It will not make the situation better by bad mouthing other employees. You choose, repeat-choose to wait an undetermined amount of time. Shit happens, get over yourself.

How do things get lost? Let me give you several hundred documents in one day and see if you don’t lose them. Let me call you 30 times and then email you when you don’t answer and see how your customer service skills are. Better yet, let me berate you since you are serving me you are obviously my servant so I can talk to you like you are less than a person and see if your attitude doesn’t change. Yes, when you treat me like less of a person I check out on you, you no longer have my full attention as I do not have your full respect. You give what you get and if your a bitch to me, I will make you wait longer-as I need a cool down period so I’m not a bitch to my next customer, who may be a sweetie. Don’t be rude, just like you need to be courteous with your waiter so they don’t give you the special sauce, you should be courteous to any customer service rep, because you never know. Word travels. And no one, NO ONE likes to deal with a bitch. Male or female.

It just really irks my nerves the lack of patience that people have these days. Everyone wants to get what they want when they want it. No regard for how they are late doing what they need to do. I’m sorry, but my sympathy is limited and I have none for you if you aren’t doing what needs to be done. And this includes myself. Hell, it bothers me when people who I work with don’t keep up. I know we are busy, but dammit, people are coming in yelling at ME because YOU are behind. Ok, I’m not mad, just exasperated because this it does get busy. But when people try to make their own policies inside of policies, its frustrating. Consistency is key for some things… OK.. I’m done ranting..

Stupefication Guaranteed

I hate work. This is no surprise because there are few people who actually enjoy work. But sometimes I just feel like my job actually makes me dumber! My job doesn’t require any actual brain work, or so the kids would like to believe. As a “front counter” person they believe that all the power lies with “those in the back.” Which, in part has some truth. I cannot do anything to your account that would benefit you. I can cancel your loans, but I can’t add any funding because I don’t get any.. However, sitting with “someone in the back” doesn’t make your day any smoother. Fact is, I am giving you all the information you need. If you listened to what I was telling you and didn’t interrupt their day to ask questions you already had the answer to maybe we wouldn’t be behind in processing the documents you submitted. But people don’t understand that.

Do I take it personal, no. Because its not their faults that they are idiots. Usually its someone in a totally different office told them they need a representative from the magical back to do all things that need to be done. I love it when they come in and they are like,

“I need to speak to someone.”

“Hi, I am someone, what can I help you with?”

“Financial Aid.”

“Well, this is the financial aid office, your question is obviously about financial aid, what is your question?”

“I have a problem with my aid.”

“Ok… what is your problem.”

“It’s personal, that’s what they told me to say over there, so can I sit with someone in the back.”

“Well, sometimes other offices don’t know how our office works, what is your question, and if we can’t help you solve it then you can see one of the counselors.”

“Ugh, I want to know the website for njclass.”

“Oh ok, well that address is ________ or you can access it via our website under the link for _______.”

“Can i talk to someone else please.”

“Sure, I can have someone repeat the website for you.”

Then they sign their name and tell them to have a seat in the waiting area. And for some reason no one can ever find our waiting area. There are two doors in the office, the one in which they entered and will eventually exit and the one that leads to a sitting area, which is glass and has a clear view of the several couches and chairs available for sitting. So they walk around stantions looking for a waiting area. “Wait, where do I go? I’m confused.” So I point to the door that I’ve been holding the buzzer for since they signed in. So then I call the counselor and they sign them in and sit with them for a few moments and the person leaves kinda agitated. I’m looking at them like ha ha, told ya!! And the counselors kinda scowl at me wondering why I had them sit in the first place. I think to myself that they don’t pay me enough to deal with the bullcrap. If someone is insistent, dammit, I don’t got time to try to play devils advocate. I mean, yes I do feel their frustration, now their flow has been interrupted. We all know how hard it is to get back into the groove when we’ve been interrupted. For example, have you ever been like having sex and the condom broke or some other occurrence, and now you have to take a break and rectify it. That shit throws off the mood like crazy! Now he’s going soft and you need to be re-stimulated and now its like starting over. Dammit!