Desperate Housewives: Cougars

I have been watching Desperate Housewives pretty regularly since the 2nd season. After becoming engrossed in the second season I got myself acquainted with Season 1 and the characters. Gaby being the ex supermodel turned bored suburban housewife. Susan is the clumsy lovable girl next door. Lynette the over worked mother of way too many kids and Bree, the Martha stewart next door. I guess you can say Edie is a main character is she is the slut you love to hate. There is something to love in each characters. There are some themes that resonant each season on almost every show-someone is pregnant, someone dies, or some great disaster strikes. Recently I noticed another recurring theme on this show.

At the start of the show, Gaby was sleeping with her gardener who was a high school student. She was being a “cougar. A “cougar” is typically an older woman who sleeps with a significantly younger man. This led to drama in her personal life. Fast forward to this season, where the show has fast forwarded 5 years into the future, here we are with one of Lynette’s many kids banging his best friends mom. WTF is up with Marc Cherry and his infatuation with old women and young men? People say that TV emulates life or if life emulates TV, but in this case which is it. I guess in the case of this show, Desperate Housewives-emphasis on Desperate-it makes sense to have bored housewives who are willing to sleep with young men to bypass the boredom and the realization that their lives are less than desirable.

We see headlines all over the news when teachers are caught having sexual relationships with their students, but what about the numbers of women who aren’t caught. They are betraying their yoga class buddies by corrupting their children. Sometimes, even going as far to say that they love them. I don’t understand how these relationships start. I know sometimes that young boys, and even girls, think their friend has a hot parent. But what could possess someone to cross the line with someone so much older. And what about the parents, they usually have children that age yet they still do it. But if the same was happening to their child they’d be outraged and do eveyrthing in their power to protect them. Are the rules totally forgotten because of “love” or lust in most of these situations. Let all my friends read this, if I have children and I find out that you are sleeping with them, I will cut you. Cut you out of my life, slice you up with a knife, and probably cut your tires. Then I am going to tell your spouse. I will tell your children, and then I will post pictures up around the neighborhood so everyone knows that you are a person who messes with children. If I ever did that, I hope someone would bring me public shame also. This is not right.

The Beep Stops Here Bobby Valentino!

The other night I was catching up on my VH1 Soul, seeing new music videos that I haven’t seen online. While watching, Bobby Valentino, or Bobby V as he apparently wants to be known as, had a video come on, titled “Beep.” This song and video are just all types of wrong. Well, not the whole video, just parts where I can see that Bobby V has this weird tail like thing on the back of his head, reminiscent of the ’90s. I mean seriously-a tail? I was watching in anticipation to catch it, to see what it was, because I saw it initially on a silhouette. I was like what is that! So I kept waiting anxiously for his head to turn, and when it finally did happen I saw this little tail afro type thing. What in the world! In addition to that the song is whack. I am not feeling it. Listen and judge for yourself!

GenderAnalyzer

I read about this on another blog, and decided to test it out.  This is a site that will analyze the blog to determine if its written by a man or a woman.  My results said that my site is written by a woman (53%), however it’s quite gender neutral. I don’t know what to think about that, is it bad that you can only tell its a woman by a barely over half margin.  I guess its good that its not overly masculine.  I guess it is pretty cool to be “gender neutral” but I’d love to radiate a sense of subtle femininity.  OH well, we can’t win them all… but all you fellow bloggers who might check me out should test it out, see if it accurately measures your gender.  And let me know about it, via comments! I love comments!
Gender Analyzer

The Hulk is a Cash Cow!

Apparently some people need more to survive per month than my annual salary. I have never been married, but I think that some women take this alimony thing way too seriously. I am all for being able to make sure you maintain your necessities in life if your husband wanted you to be a homemaker, therefore you didn’t work and now you guys are divorcing. And celebrity wives are making a killing these days off someone elses money.

Hulk Hogan’s wife, LInda Bollea, is requesting an increase in her 40,000 a month alimony. Are you F**King kidding me? He already pays her that and still pays repair and maintenence of their home. The only things he doesn’t pay for are cable (can you blame him?), pest control, window washing, and their security system. So, even is she does pay for that stuff, she still has an additional what, 35000 per month? And, its not like she has children to support or pay for private school for. Her kids are grown and semi-self sufficent. The one did just get out of jail and the other considers herself a reality pop star of some sort. I just don’t believe this. I mean, after 24 years of marriage it sucks to get a divorce, but to try and drain the hubby’s pockets after he is being pretty generous is low. And, I mean, I don’t know how much money the Hulk is making these days off royalties and interest and stuff, but 40,000 a month is a helluva lot if you ask me and since no one did I’m still giving my opinion because its blasphemy! She spent 14,000 on plastic surgery. Why should he pay for how she looks, he’s not with her anymore!

It’s like these women having babies with athletes and celebrities, they make out like bandits! All you did was lay there with some sweaty jerk and now you get 15,000 a month. Babies are expensive, but not that damn expensive! I mean, granted some of these men want some crazy sexual favors, but dammit you should have worn a condom. But then again, they want this easy money. I’m sorry. I don’t want nobodies bad ass kid for a paycheck. It’s not worth it. Ugh. Damn groupies. OK, sorry for ranting.

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Finally Caught: Nebraska’s Butt Bandit!

I remember I once read this short story where this guy would break into womens houses and go down on them. And even though it was creepy women waited to be his next victim. Well, this guy in Valentine, Nebraska decided that he wanted to surprise people in a different way. The man used his backside to vandalize the town since 2007! This mans booty has touched more windows than windex! This 35 year old man was caught on Wednesday and arrested although he hasn’t been charged yet. He’s probably going to get off, literally and figuratively, with a small case of public indecency and vandalism.

His method was to get his booty all oiled up with lotion or petroleum jelly and put his imprints on the windows of businesses. His proudest moment was getting all the windows done on a local hotel. Can you imagine waking up in the morning and coming to work wondering what those heart shaped imprints are. Imagine touching it before you realized what it was. GROSS! Is this a slight variation of exhibitionism? Exhibitionism as described in the DSM-IV is the exposure of one’s genitals to a stranger, usually with no intention of further sexual activity with the other person. In some cases, the exhibitionist masturbates while exposing himself (or while fantasizing that he is exposing himself) to the other person. Some exhibitionists are aware of a conscious desire to shock or upset their target; while others fantasize that the target will become sexually aroused by their display. So, if we use these facts about exhibitionism would it be wise to say that he got off with the idea that he was upsetting the business owners by leaving them “tokens” of his love?

The County’s Attorney said that this isn’t normal behavior for Valentine, as if this is normal behavior for other places. I don’t care where I go, seeing booty imprints on the damn window is not normal. It’s even more abnormal for people to be copying the Butt Bandit! Before they caught the culprit the Valentine PD thought it might have been the work of some copy-cats, now after catching him, they decided it was solely him.

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Grey’s Anatomy: Dead Denny Sex!!

Contains possible spoilers for Grey’s episode airing 11/20/08.

Am I the only one not feeling Izzie Stevens having sex with her dead fiance? I have not been ok with the whole scenario with Denny walking and talking around the way, like he is alive. For those who do not watch Grey’s Anatomy, here is the backdrop:

Denny was a patient at Seattle Grace Hospital, where Izzie was an intern. All hoptie doo, they fell in love, she cut his LVAT wires to move him up on the heart transplant list, something goes awry, he dies. Izzie has a hard time dealing, eventually gets over him. Moved on is dating Alex now.

Denny makes his way back in a recent episode where Izzie has to deal with her actions because the patient she stole the heart from is now at SGH for some sort of cardio surgery I don’t remember. Denny begins to follow her around and reach out to her. And this week, she is battling with it and says to herself this isn’t right, he’s dead, I’m just reliving things we did. So, as a suggestion to prove he’s real Dead Denny decides they should boink. So they boink, the boink so loud they can be head in the hallway by all her roommates. Alex even knocks on the door to tell her to stop flying solo, and she is really all hot and sweaty. WTF. OK, here is the video from Izzie and Denny’s scenes last night..

I’m sorry, knowing someone is having imaginary hot steamy sex with a dead person is creepy. Does this make her a sort of necrophiliac? Even though she isn’t technically having sex with his body, but the idea of being with a dead person is slightly creepy. And Frankly, I like Izzie and Alex’s relationship-they talk shit to each other and have hot steamy sex, and their chemistry has been brewing since season 1. I didn’t like that shit they tried to with having her date George. That was just weird and awkward.

And while we are talking about Grey’s, I don’t like her new friend. What is her deal, how long is she here for? I’m slightly glad her surgery wasn’t all peachy and rosy she needs a wakeup call.

Careful What you eat: Grapes w/ Spiders

Holy Moly! I found this article about a lady finding a black widow spider in her Costco Grapes. For those who don’t know, the Black Widow is the deadliest American arachnid-even their web is poisonous! Not something I’d like to find in my grapes-sometimes I just pick grapes up in the store and eat one, everyone does it! Then we I get home, I run water over them and put them in the fridge. Imagine, ingesting poison that way and not even knowing. Imagine that thing getting lose into your house and possibly biting you!

In case you’ve noticed more spiders around this year, which I’ve heard people say, it could be because in California farmers have been using spiders as a natural pesticide to keep insects off of the crops. While I applaud these efforts to stop the use ingesting of poison, I think that they maybe should not use spiders that are dangerous to our health as well. Seriously, what kind of logic is that, let me not give you a man made poison, but a natural one instead. Although maybe their logic comes from the fact that no one has died from a Black widow bite since 1960 in America, but still. Confusion. This is definitely confirmation and reinforcement to always, ALWAYS wash your fruit. Like really wash it, just just run the water like I do and shake it. Not enough.

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Va-Jay-Jay: Every man & womans Kryptonite

I had to post this blog article from BlogXilla (yes, I am happy to have a new website to frequent, so deal with it!). It really does sum up how I’ve felt about this subject. Me and a friend were talking about this recently, and it’s refreshing to hear it from a guys P.O.V. It’s about how every woman.. especially us black girls I’ve noticed… loves to boast about how “good” her goodies are. His post gets two thumbs up! Personally, I feel that modesty is a good thing. I would not be interested in having sex with a guy who brags about how good his loving is, so I think its probably the same with guys. The girls who boast how good their va-jay-jay is are probably the ones who just lay there and expect them to do all the work…maybe..

So check it out here: The Biggest Lie Told by Women

Where did Thanksgiving go?

Its November, right? Last time I checked after Halloween there was Thanksgiving and then came Christmas. So unless there was some mass destruction of Thanksgiving (which for some is only a celebration of a mass genocide of people who only welcomed the pilgrims) that I don’t know about i’d appreciate if we could get back to the holiday about giving thanks. I mean, this year I actually have some things that I would like to be thankful for. And here comes the economy and the market shoving my holiday under a rug! I should not be subjected to radio airways pumping Christmas carols just yet, as it is I only have a small tolerance for the jingles anyway, so by starting them earlier the radio stations are just shortening my tolerance time. I know we are in a “recession” that could lead to a “depression” but this isn’t a way to bolster sales when its proven that people rely heavily on credit during the holidays and credit is on the run from the masses. That can lead to an increase in already high holiday suicide rates. This is not a good thing no matter how you spin in. Please reincarnate thanksgiving, for us poor, sad, Christmas haters. Ok, maybe I don’t have Christmas itself, I love to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but I do hate the consumerist holiday that it has become. Is it because Thanksgiving is a secular holiday that it is easily cast aside?

By the way, does anyone know the name of the “basket” shown above that holds the food and grains? I know what it is, but many don’t.  If I had a cute prize I’d give it out to to the first person who guesses correctly, but I don’t.  I only have my word… LOL

Johnny Depp is the new Madd Hatter

These pictures have been circling the internet for the past few days. They are of Johnny Depp (one of my all-time favorite actors) as the Madd Hatter in the Tim Burton rendition of Alice in Wonderland. Honestly, I can’t say that this doesn’t look like a combination of Sweeney Todd mixed with Willy Wonka. I mean, thats why we all love Johnny, he can do weird crazy characters with the best of them. He can do heavy transformations, but does it ever become redundant? I think he’s going to make one helluva mad hatter, but I don’t want to feel like I’m watching Sweeney Todd or Edward Scissorhands struggle with his inner Willy Wonka if you know what I mean . . . even though he’ll look hot in his I’m Johnny Depp and slightly creepy hot kinda way. I bet Helena Bonham Carter is going to be in this movie, I need to IMDB this with the quickness. I love IMDB its one of my favorite search engines, the only goto for TV and Movie information. AH HA! I used my other tab to check IMDB and she is in the movie, she’s the Red Queen! I also learned of other note-worthy casting choices: Anne Hathaway is the White Queen. Some person I don’t know named Mia Wasikowska is Alice and Professor Snape from Harry Potter, Alan Rickman to others, is cast as Caterpillar. I think I got a little excited to see Severus Snape as Caterpillar…

Super Tuesday!!!

It is no secret that I am Beyonce fan and that I’m also an avid Eric Jerome Dickey fan. So today is like Christmas being that his new book and her new album come out. I heard an advance of the Beyonce cd which I mentioned before, but I’m going to give it a whirl and listen to the Deluxe version with 2 additional Japanese bonus tracks. I have faith in her ability, and it doesn’t hurt that I saw an AOL video clip where she seemed excited about her “risks” in this work. My qualm with this is that Beyonce said that she was inspired by her work on the film Cadillac Records, where she portrays a feisty Etta James. If anyone remembers when B’Day came out Beyonce said she was inspired by DreamGirls, where she played Deena, and she wrote songs she wished Deena would have sang. I think that inspiration is great, and you should find it wherever you can, but this tune is becoming a little redundant B. I want to get to know YOU when I listen to your music, not Deena or Etta, thats why I see the movies for that.

Eric Jerome Dickey is releasing the third installment of the Gideon Series, I guess we can call it that. The first was Sleeping with Strangers followed by Waking with Enemies. I adored SWS because it was so unlike anything he’d ever written. I was slightly disappointed with WWE because I felt sex took over the story and the story had so much potential. Every great author can redeem themselves, so I’m excited to see where he takes us next. The book he wrote after WWE and before this one, Dying for Revenge, called Pleasure was extremely good. It was well written and didn’t seem forced, and I could have sworn I knew a girl named Nia. I could have sworn. And thats what I love about EJD. He is definitely an author I admire. I hope to go to another one of his book signings and this time not be completely in awe and actually be able to form sentences besides things like the rain.  I mean, I’d like to ask him many questions about the setting, the familial arrangements of his main characters and why, oh why, did he actually decide to continue with Gideon.

Shoes: Carlos Santana Ingenue

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve highlighted a pair of shoes that have caught my eye. So during my yet to be blogged about horrible experience in the Macy’s shoe department I saw these beautiful Carlos Santana boots across the room. I didn’t try them on because window shopping isn’t really my thing and they are nearly TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!! I might try to catch them on a going out of season sale in a few months. But either way, these are the Ingenue. The ones pictured here are brown suede with a little leather seaming detail. Gorgeous! They have this cute little metallic shiny thing at the top too, I don’t know the function of it, but I like it. The heel is about 4 inches, which is a height I love! They also come in a black boot with red detailing. And a camel colored boot which is a lighter brown with an alligator looking embellishment.

I don’t know what it is, but all the boots I’ve been attracted to lately have been brown, even though I would like a new pair of black boots. I did try some black boots on the other day at the evil store known as Bakers, but they didn’t give the look I was going for, and they were too expensive for shoes I know are poorly made. Even these boots, I was more attracted to the brown, nothing against the black, but for me they just look better in brown. One day, hopefully soon, I will fulfill my goals of having rain boots AND black boots, and my shoedrobe will be complete. Yes, a shoedrobe, similar to a wardrobe!

Straight, Gay, or Bi-Sexual?? What’s your choice?

I actually wrote this awhile ago, I emailed it to myself on Oct. 7th. I was waiting to see if I could get a video clip of the scene that I’m trying to describe, but my go-to person wasn’t able to do it. If you are interested it comes from Season 2: episode Was it Good for You? Enjoy!!

The other morning I was watching an episode from Sex And The City season 2. In the episode Samantha said something along the lines of, its the year 2000 and sexual labels would be a thing of the past. We’d no longer be gay or straight therefore not defined by labels. We’d be individualisms who had sex with people-men, women whoever. And here we are in 2008, damn near 2009 and there is an outbreak of people being “sexually adventurous” and having sex with men and women. Was SATC simply making an observation of what they saw or being a catalyst for what we face now?

Look at celebrities, Lindsay Lohan for example went from accusations of sexual promiscuity to a, although not confirmed, lesbian relationship after battles with rehab. People say its just a phase, but when did this phase in life become the norm? Kate perry-kissed a girl and liked it. Wonders what her boyfriend will say. What is going on, kids are listening to this and being influenced!! My kids would not be able to hear this in my house. But you never know what your kids listen to with their friends and friends usually have a strong influence on children. I just don’t get it with the obsession with sexual exploration.

I have a friend who’s little sister wears “bracelets” or little hair ties on her wrist which signify that she likes girls too! She’s 16! many people now tote the label “bisexual” saying why should they limit their happiness to the hands of one sex?

Don’t take this as a problem with homosexuality, its not. I think people who are gay, who make it known they are strictly playing for the same team are great. They know what they like and want sexually. Either you are or you aren’t. Stop with the sexual greediness trying to guise it as something else. I don’t need to experiment with another woman to know that I need a man to please me. Most men do not kiss other men to know the want a woman. All this sexual exploration isn’t necessary and its confusing. You know have to ask ppl 3 questions before it goes too far: 1. Are you married (bcuz now a days ppl hide it) 2. Do you have kids. 3. Do you have any homosexual tendencies? Do NOT underestimate the importance of these questions. And don’t just listen to their words when they answer, look at their reactions and body language! Don’t leave home without these tools!

Beyonce is Sasha Fierce..

Fierce, Fierce tranny mess! hahaha!

That’s from a SNL skit on Christian Sirano (sp) Project Runway winner. Anyway. I had the privilege over the weekend to hear an advance of the new Beyonce cd, I am…Sasha Fierce. I was not impressed, not in the least. And this is sad because I happen to love Beyonce and feel she has the potential to make great music. I didn’t add the advance to my iTunes, instead I am waiting on a retail copy of the deluxe edition, which even as a deluxe only has 16 tracks. I swear folk are jipping us. \

Anyway, I decided to post this link for ppl to decide how they feel about two tracks “Diva” and “Video Phone” after I was doing a blog stroll and came across a cool blog called BlogXilla. I definitely enjoyed this new discovery and will be checking in from time to time, and heck maybe that can bring me more traffic. I love blog traffic, it makes me feel that its not all for naught (love the Sarah Palin reference). Back to topic.. “Diva” is supposed to be the female version of Lil Wayne’s “A Millie” and I just wish Beyonce would be the Queen she needs to be. REAL MUSIC!! UGH!!

Diva is to the same beat as “A MIllie” and basically says that a Diva is the female version of a Hustla.. Now I firmly disagree with this because I thought being a Diva meant that you had a certain aura. She kinda has that “I know I’m a bad bitch vibe and you can’t compare”thing going on. And when I think of Hustla (with an “a” not an “er”) I think of someone who is griding, doing what they need to do to get to where they need to be. For instance, someone who is working hard and going to school is hustling.. but they are not a HUSTLER, i.e. selling drugs on the street.

And “Video Phone” I’m just not sure what I think there.. I’ll get back to you on that..

Check out the songs here

Plastic Surgery Mishap

After reading this I knew I wanted to blog about this. So, first I sent it to a few of my nearest and dearest friends for conversation ideas at work and kinda let the day slip away.

Anyway, sometimes we forget that plastic surgery is not an American addiction, it is coveted by many across the globe. Hang Mioku, 48, is a Korean woman w ho became addicted to plastic surgery after having her first surgery at age 28. After her first surgery she moved to Japan and had many more operations eventually leading to her face being left enlarged and disfigured. Her face was so disfigured that her parents didn’t even recognize her. Some saw this addiction as a sign of a psychological disorder. Her parents, after the shock that t his was actually their daughter, took her to a doctor and she began treatments that were too expensive to maintain so she eventually fell back into her old ways.

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. She eventually found some doctor who was willing to give her silicone injections, AND he gave her a syringe and silicone to take home and do some herself. The blasphemy does NOT stop there. When Hang ran out of silicone she began to inject cooking oil into her face. Yes, Hang decided that she would freshen up her face with Crisco. Her face eventually became so large that she began to get teased by children in her neighborhood, children as just cruel, calling her “standing fan” because of her large face and small body.

Eventually she was featured on TV in Korea and money was donated to help her have surgery to reduce the size of her face. When I read this, I did not laugh. I seriously had a WTF reaction, because this is crazy. I’m not going to post the pics, but I will post a link to them, because its sad. She was a cute girl, by our American standards, to begin with, and now she says “she would simply like her original face back.” This is why plastic surgery isn’t something you want to get hooked to. I’m sure she is not the first person in regret of plastic surgery-say Hi to Tara Reid. Or we’ve all heard the stories of girls who got breast implants that nearly killed them or people who got Liposuction and had fat grow back patchy in some areas. Some things are just too much.

Source and pics